Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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