My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
