whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
