Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
