Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
