I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
