Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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