Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
