I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
