I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
