dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
