I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
