Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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