Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
