I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize