I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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