He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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