Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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