i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
