His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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