Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Last time i carry you out of a forest
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize