Just fell off a train. Bad.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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