But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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