Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
you made out with another girl for some wings
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