If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I did not marry a roomba.
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