If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize