oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
