I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
