Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
