hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
