All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
