Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
