I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize