I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
