So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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