Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
