So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize