I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
