By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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