I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
