Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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