I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
