You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
