Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
