i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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