WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I need to calm my uterus...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
