I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
