If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
