Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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