Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
