do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
