trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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