I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
