And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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