he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
