This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
