We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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