they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
