i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
