we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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