I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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